I worry sometimes
by btcool
Summary: "Gonna what Phil? Kill myself! If I wanted to do that I would have jumped out my bedroom window a few days ago for fucksake!" I snapped, watching Phil's eyes hover towards the floor. He muttered quietly at me "I don't believe you". Dan's existential crisis takes over his life, scaring Phil.


So this is my first Dan and Phil fanfic weird enough anyway this is loosely based on Dan existential crisis, as I did a bit of research and it said that they tend to make some people become suicidal and can lead to depression as the person doesn't understand the point of living anymore :/ soooo yeah this sprung to mind as in Dan's existential crisis getting really bad... so ermmm enjoy?

I stared down at my shaking hands, sighing slightly and burying them deep into my pockets. I wandered slowly towards my mirror, staring at myself and analysing the mess. I inhaled sharply, my ribs aching in response. My eyes were dark and dull as my shirt hung from my pale fragile body. Food and sleep where the last of my problems. We all die anyway, so why care. I ran my fingers through my messy hair and headed towards the door of my bedroom.

I had worn the same clothes for... I can't remember how many days. I can't remember what day it was. It could be Monday or Friday, I didn't know. I grabbed the handle pulling my door open. A bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice sat in front of me on the floor, a little note hiding behind my spoon. I picked it up reading it quickly. It was from Phil asking me to at least look at my food.

I faintly remember him knocking earlier, and muttering something about how I need to go to the doctors. He was worried I guess. I stepped over the food wandering into kitchen and digging through the cupboards for some pain killers; to help at least put me in some sort of daze for a minute.

"What you looking for?" I spun round in shock to see a man with a black floppy fringe and a hard look, glare and me. It was Phil. I groaned turning round to him "Some pain killers you seen any?" I asked sighing slightly. He dug into his pockets pulling out a packet. I smiled at him putting my hands out read to catch them when he threw them my way. "Thanks" He put them back into his pocket his glare becoming harder in my direction. My eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "What you doin-"

"I'm not giving you anything! You haven't eaten or came out of your room for 6 days! I would come in but you keep locking the door! You haven't slept either have you?"

"How do yo-"

"Cause I can hear you at stupid a clock pacing muttering, crying, shouting about stuff that's starting to scare me!" His tone lowered as his started to become more like Phil. "Look Dan I'm scared, you are really starting to worry me now" He looked desperate and that upset me deeply. But this didn't give me the answer onto why he was keeping the pain killers from me. "So you are not having them." I was confused deeply, pain killers will surly help. Right?

"Why?" I questioned him.

"Cause I'm scared you gonna ya know..." He looked at me slightly in fear.

"Gonna what Phil? Kill myself! If I wanted to do that I would have jumped out my bedroom window a few days ago for fucksake!" I snapped, watching Phil's eyes hover towards the floor. I was too shocked in what he was saying to me. He thought I was gonna end it all. I watched as he muttered quietly at me "I don't believe you".

I pushed passed Phil making my way into the living room, and sitting down on the sofa. He followed slowly, sitting next to me and placing his hand on my knee in reassurance. His eyes still staring at his shoes. "Please eat something" He murmured his face emotionless. "I'm not hungry" I moaned back moving my leg away from him. He brought his hands to his knees turning round and staring me in the eye.

"Dan you're scaring me okay, you have never been like his before. Okay, they normally last an hour or 2 not 1 day never mind 6 days. I just want you to be okay. I care about weird enough, and If you don't wanna do it for yourself for it for me. Please I'm begging you" His eyes went back to his feet before he got up and wandered into the kitchen. I sighed noticing the hunger that I had been ignoring. I stood up wandering into the kitchen.

"I'm gonna go get a shower then we should go out for lunch?"

I watched as a small smile escaped his lips.

"Thank you Dan"


End file.
